Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
