wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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