the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
