Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
