he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
