I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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