omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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