he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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