party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's blow job season.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
