I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
