I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Are we still banned from the library?
This is the high leading the old right now
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
