idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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