Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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