he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
