his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I can't turn off my feet"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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