so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
