At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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