ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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