I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
