More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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