Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You work out of a Hotel?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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