Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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