i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My dick has a subreddit
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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