He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
