Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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