somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
