No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
