woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
