don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
