That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We're too hungover to prance.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
