She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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