Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
