Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
