i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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