i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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