How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
