It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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