How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
These tits shall not be calmed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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