I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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