do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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