Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize