there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
