it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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