david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
