I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
