and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
