everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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