Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
