I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
