Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saw his package. It spoke to me.

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  (732): I saw his package. It spoke to me. http://tfl.nu/ses1
  Replies (11) Good night (3429) Bad night (598)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend

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  (703): Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend http://tfl.nu/gm3r
  Replies (31) Good night (814) Bad night (3828)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do

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  (856): I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do http://tfl.nu/mquj
  Replies (34) Good night (3713) Bad night (726)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.

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  (516): I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life. http://tfl.nu/0sjl
  Replies (21) Good night (5521) Bad night (1234)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'

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  (972): You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.' http://tfl.nu/1grt
  Replies (22) Good night (2331) Bad night (4556)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  drunk tastebuds have low standards.

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  (423): drunk tastebuds have low standards. http://tfl.nu/mx1k
  Replies (6) Good night (3826) Bad night (1175)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...

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  (+44): i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer... http://tfl.nu/jw3w
  Replies (8) Good night (2946) Bad night (907)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments

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  (602): i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments http://tfl.nu/teyj
  Replies (8) Good night (2554) Bad night (1023)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.

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  (708): You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit. http://tfl.nu/hyfu
  Replies (2) Good night (1834) Bad night (1442)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?

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  (343): Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen? http://tfl.nu/nxy5
  Replies (14) Good night (805) Bad night (2561)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off

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  (914): The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off http://tfl.nu/j2wh
  Replies (6) Good night (953) Bad night (629)
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  (897): View more from

  i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.

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  (897): i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight. http://tfl.nu/elh4
  Replies (8) Good night (821) Bad night (411)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.

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  (614): Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome. http://tfl.nu/lohz
  Replies (5) Good night (1433) Bad night (340)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?

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  (517): Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's? http://tfl.nu/t57e
  Replies (6) Good night (725) Bad night (348)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.

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  (870): So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub. http://tfl.nu/l7si
  Replies (2) Good night (610) Bad night (605)

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