Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc

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(240): View more from Maryland

EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.

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(607): View more from New York

I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.

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(509): View more from Washington

you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I won't apologize to a one balled man

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...

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(269): View more from Michigan

I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet

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