Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize
