who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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