I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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