She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
