I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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