just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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