I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
