Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
True strength comes from lack of pants
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
