Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
