i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
how do you play pong handcuffed?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.