So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
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