Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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