:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
