I wish my penis had an off switch
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
