I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
