My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
