awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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