I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
