I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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